"For I know the plans I have for your," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
Got laid off after a 5 short weeks of work. Its a long story. Layoffs seem to put a damper on my plans of prosperity and security, and I must guard my door to let negative thoughts come in. Sometimes it feels like so many doors are being shut. Experience shows me that it is quite the contrary.
I have been thinking about doors lately; both in a symbolic reference to my life, and also in a literal sense having installed a couple in my home. There are many doors in my house, but only three of them enter into my home.
The first one is screwed shut. It leads into my basement. I absolutely hated it as a kid. It was the one that we carried wood into the house. Its function was simply for work. And when we opened it. It meant sweat. It meant not fun. It also meant future warmth in the home and a clean aroma of fresh air in the house in the winter months along with aroma of sap and popple bark.
The next one leads into my kitchen area from the outside. I had a pretty nice one there. But the door jamb was broken. The latch would lock by itself, and I never had a key. So people living in my home on occasion would either hope the basement wasn't screwed shut, or a window latch left undone so they could crawl in or stumble down some rickety old stairs into a dark place; and eventually, through some exerted effort find a way to get in. I got a new door and frame hung it and finished it off with a modern lock and a handle made of deer antler.
The last door goes out onto the new deck. When dad moved in this old rickety house in 1980, it came complete with an overhanging porch on the west end of the house. It had an old door. But the only thing missing was the rest of the porch: no floor, no railings.. If a person would open the door and walk out, he would fall about three feet down into a sterile clump of dirt that because of the great overhang never got wet. So nothing ever grew. But the cats seemed to scratch in it and leave plenty of cat scent. An occasional dog over the years would dig a hole. A few weeds would grow on the edge where water dripped off the roof. When I moved in, I took out the door and covered it with plywood and finished off the inside saying to myself, "Maybe one day if only..." It seemed like a hopeless pipe dream. Then one day happened.
It started when the weather broke. I was laid off and had a little time, so I built a deck under the great over hang. I wanted the house looking better for the new love in my life. But I finally had the means and that porch had been bugging me since I was a kid. I wanted this place looking better. I wanted my kids and all who know me that Bunky is back. I wanted my house to reflect the person I really am. Its a great pleasure to see the look of approval on Brenda's face when she comes to visit from out west and see things improving. After all, this place will soon be hers also.
Finally after the deck was done, I get laid off again get a little time off and I woke up one day with the determination to get a door in so people can walk right out onto the deck, the deck with an old overhang that had been sitting empty with nothing underneath it for 33 years.
Here is the thing, for the last 5 years a small project like this would have been unfathomable. Overcome with fear, guilt, economic insecurity, resentments, and paralyzed by the depression of alcoholism, the old house with the messed up doors would have remained screwed shut. The beauty and freedom of a simple home would have remained hidden and just remained barely functional as a sleeping- eating place possibly for another 33 years. I didn't build it. I didn't hang the doors. God did.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8 NIV. It was only the pain of dealing with a great change of life that brought me to my knees. It was that pain that lead me to recommit my life to Christ, to examine my life as it was and is, to live in a solution that gives me the power to solve all my problems. My heart was hard and cold. So hard and brittle that it was shattered. And with a hole in my heart, God's love shined through. John 3:16 For God so loved the world he gave his only one and only Son. Now Jesus is the doorway.
When it seems like doors are being shut in one's life, God opens so many more.
"In the New Testament, Jesus tells us to knock at the door, but also warns that the door will someday close and shut out the unprepared. James warns us that the Judge is at the door. We do not have forever to decide. And finally, in Revelations, it is He who knocks at our doors, and waits for us to let Him in. And the final reference in Revelations is of a "door standing open to heaven" -- Hope is fulfilled." (Willa: Quotidian Reader).
People are much like a house. We also have our own personal doors to let in and out both good and bad. We can put up storm doors, or leave them unlocked. We can leave them wide open or put on good locks. We can put decorations on them, or we can smear lamb's blood on our door post. We choose which doors we want to open. Door A: same old blah blah blah!- restless, irritable, and discontent. Door B: God's world of love and endless possibilities.
A big door is opening in my life once again preparing a home and planning a life with Brenda. She enhances my walk toward Christ and encourages my walk toward the narrow gate. She consistently reminds me of the bigger picture of life, the unseen one that God has planned for each and everyone of us when we choose to walk that narrow path. That path isn't always fun, never is easy, but is always worthwhile. Thank God for doors... may they continue to open and close. As for me and my house and all who enter in it, we will serve the Lord.
