Some times in my life I havent' been able to give much. And some times I go overboard. Balance? Me? It used to be a struggle for me at Christmas time. How much should i give this one or that one. What does this person or that person need? Sometimes my Christmas giving has been stymied by feelings of guilt or by feelings of trying to prove I was better than I was or competing with another parent or grandparent wanting you all to think that I was something other than I really am.
Sometimes I wish I could wrap things up and make things look like they belong on the floor room showcase at Macy's in the mall. I wanted things to be perfect and even paid for people to help me out in that department sometimes. I did these things because I wanted your growing up to at least have Christmas be O.K. and somewhat "normal". The devil, tries to tell us that you need this or that in your life to be alright. The deceiver, wants us to think that in order to be a respectable human you better chase it, pursue it, because if you don't you can't be loved. I one time had a thought that I should cancel the big day all together because couldn't possibly live up to the grandiose idea of what my intentions were for you guys. Sometimes I just got drunk.
In the book of Matthew 7:12 Jesus charges his disciples to go to every town and not bring any stuff with them to spread the message of love. He asks them to bring themselves, that they are all the equipment they need. God has a plan and a design for each and everyone of us. He gave us Jesus to rescue us from our sins and give us everlasting life, and we can catch a glimpse of it day by day. He loves us that much.
The enemy wants us to look at our family dynamics and tell us, things are screwed up, we aren't as good as other Christians. Maybe we have heard others in meanness utter those words to our ears. Maybe because of our own selfish sinful ways we expect too much from each other and live in a spirit of envy and want, and jealousy. After all we all want something we see on t.v. or the internet or maybe even on someones feet. No one is perfect. My life has been a living testimony of that.
Here is the good news. Things are different for me today and still not perfect. I was wrapping a few gifts tonight to get ready for our big day. I was thinking about my Christmases past and present, even ones when I was a kid, and memories of you guys. I was flooded with a feeling of peace and happiness and joy. God put His great Christmas gift to us all in one package. In a week or so we will all get together to celebrate our Christmas. God's message is simple. He chose. He chose us. He loves. He loves us. He gives. He gives to us. Unconditionally! He chose to give His Love to us. He wants us to try love. Just as he chose to give through His love for us; He want us to choose to give love. Jesus came from a blended family too, and it was perfect and good because it had Love. I can't wait to have all of you at Penguin Lodge together as a family. Our family dynamic has changed for each of us and all in different ways. It may not be perfect to the eyes of the world, but it is ours, and I wouldn't trade it for any other. There is single simple package for everyone waiting for you when you come. So come and come often. You are all the equipment we need.
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